Today I received the below email forwarded from my mother. The original sender of that email was a Nettie Attili, but I have no idea if she was the originator. Here's the text of the email; I've done some slight editing to remove excess blank lines, but otherwise the text is untouched.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mezamies. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.' Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'

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I post this as a reminder we all do not think alike. My answers to the various points are as follows.

- ... our mission in Iraq is complete.... I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. Whether we like it or not, we've screwed up that poor country to the point where an immediate removal of troops would be a disaster. The big problem there has always been the lack of direction and plan for Iraq after removing Saddam Hussein. (We don't belong there anyway, but since we went, we're stuck with it.) Assuming we were right about Hussein, the plan should have been to prepare the Iraqis from the start to take back their country, including a goal-oriented, gradual withdrawal of our troops. I agree a timetable based on dates would be irresponsible; however, we must set goals like "When X number of Iraqi police are trained, Y number of US troops will be withdrawn." I have worked on or run too many projects in my job where the project fails when adequate goals are not set.

- Before me, I have two lists. It is generally useless to classify such things as governments into only two lists. Understanding and working with governments is not a black-and-white proposition; each government has its pluses and minuses, including ours. Bad move.

- ... foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. Another bad idea. One of the reasons the United States was so well-liked years ago was our generosity. That includes not only financial aid but other types of assistance.

- The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS. To answer the first question, no it won't, because the cost has been borne now for seven years, plus interest. Also, the war isn't being paid for out of the budget but is an off-budget expense (thanks, Mr. Bush!). To answer the second comment, the real fix to Social Security is to eliminate the cap on taxable income for Social Security taxes, or at least make it a reasonable number (say, $1,000,000) and then index it for inflation. Also, Social Security is not going to go broke in 20 years. 2047 is the year Social Security will start losing money, not go broke.

Finally, the real social program in trouble is not Social Security but Medicare. To fix both problems, the Social Security tax should be lowered to 4%, the Medicare tax raised from 1.7% to 4%, and have no caps on income subject to these taxes. Today, the combined weight of these two taxes is 7.8 percent, so the change I suggest would retain about the same weight (it's actually a 0.2% tax increase, which is very slight) but resolve both problems for the foreseeable future.

- The American people are no longer going to pour money into (the) third world ... In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. A couple of them are taken care of by the above. The health insurance crisis can only be solved when we determine coverage based on people, not based on having a job. That is why we have so many un- and underinsured people in the US: there are many people without jobs or their jobs have no health coverage. The email writer doesn't want to line the pockets of foreign despots, and I agree with that, but let's not turn around and line the pockets of our corporations, either. The money belongs to the people according to need and hard work, not selfishly hoarded by the top 1% of our nation.

Finally, one problem we still have is bias. There are, surprisingly, people out there who will not vote for Barack Obama for president simply because he is black. There is no way to resolve this issue through money; we need education. Education is the way out of many problems, so let's make college (or a trade school) mandatory as we made high school mandatory a hundred years ago.

- I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations .... OK, this is stupid. Being in the United Nations and a member NATO nation helps keep the peace. If we dislike what someone is doing, ignoring it is not going to make it go away. On the contrary, it gets worse. This is what we are all taught as children, to talk out problems instead of trying to punish those who don't think the way we do. Besides, who said we're always right? It's jingoism if you believe that.

- Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. I don't know enough about economics to know whether NAFTA is the best solution; however, I do know enough to know not to just throw the thing away. We in the US have to get with the program: the coming economy is global, not "every country for themselves." The sooner we can adjust to that the better off we'll be.

- Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. Wrong. There is not that much in Alaska. It may, in fact, be in our best interest to leave the oil there for now, in case we are desperate for it.

What we really need to do is focus the money we're using for these insane drilling projects (and the ethanol business) and put it into researching alternative fuels we do not have to burn. There are electric cars now that'll go about thirty miles on a charge. If we learn better storage methods, we could come up with a car that'll go the same distance as the cars currently burning gasoline. Using electricity generated by hydro, solar, and wind power, we would almost eliminate our carbon footprint and stop worrying about human-caused climate change.

- Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. Wrong again; in fact the exact opposite is true. It is the Bush administration's (and the email writer's, apparently) desire to stand alone in the world that did it. Clinton was not the greatest president, but at least during his administration most countries liked us. The reason people don't like us is two-fold: fears of a pre-emptive strike by our current administration, and the fact we are a hypocritical country who orders people to stop torturing people but engages in torture itself.


One message I left off of the email is the writer's thanks to the military. I would like to echo that sentiment. Our military volunteers do a great job; it is not their fault this administration ordered them into unwinnable and disagreeable battlefronts. In point of fact, the top generals back in 2002 warned Bush not to invade Iraq, and were either shouted into submission or pushed out.

One last point: our government treats the military badly once they've been discharged. Our veterans have been getting the short end of the stick since Vietnam. We of the United States love our veterans, and it makes us sick how badly funded the government agencies assigned to help them are. The VA is not at fault; they are simply not supported by our government.

The main problem with emails like this one is they contain just enough truth and make just enough sense to allow many people to believe they are all true. This is where education comes in; the more you know, the better you can understand what's going on around you.